Sunday, January 28, 2007

Victory


Curva Nord


Tribune Ouest--Lions Supporters

There's only ONE KALLANG ROAR.I think I might as well just forget the $10 I bet and get down to planning for the next match against Thailand on wednesday.yesterday night was a real night to remember,especially for the new generation of Singapore fans.And I might also forget the fact that our goalie spilled one,because the Malaysians were back to their same old score and then freeze.and I think they regretted subbing in someone so late until that guy ended up missing that penalty that sent us through...hahahaha.I was seating at the grandstand near the VIPs and the roar was palpable.Since I missed the Indonesia match 3 years ago,I really can't miss this one


Curva Sud Fossa dei Leoni

Lots of people got turned away because the tickets had already been sold out by 3pm and there were so few Malaysians they soon found their red carpet cordon encroached by Singaporeans left,right and centre(above).at least it had some semblance of Italy with funny banners like Ultras and Forza at the curva nord and sud respectively...mann that's one hell of a match,although they were dillydallying which is a big no-no against Thailand unless you're sure they won't cock up if Aide was watching.it's one freaking hell of a match i think.the only people who seem hard to win over are the teenage girls whose allegiances are more towards SHE who's having their concert nearby at the Indoor Stadium.

I hope to hear the Kallang Roar again,as loud as the time where Ridhuan scored the equaliser and surely more than the delirium after the unfortunate Malaysian got his effort blocked by Lion Lewis.Forza Leoni!


Kallang Roar-One Last Roar against Thailand

Friday, January 26, 2007

Cross Country? what cross country!?

What is cross country when it goes to Bishan Park?don't even bother calling it that.same with the shortlived turf club experiment for the nationals.just as Bishan park seems like Aintree,the old turf club is the Ascot.Only Macritchie sounds really cross country.anything else and it seems like a rerun of the Melbourne Cup.

oh well they finally bothered with some 0812 plans where some of our heroes will go full time.while sailors pose little problems,some people still can't shake off the Melvyn Tan saga when they hear that some of the sailors going for NS are getting temporary deferments.to them it seems like going BMT is more important than anything,and I think I might agree on just one count...that they will eventually come back

the only prob is that our new cult hero is out of the list.the 10m air rifler has more cares to attend to,having been the single most well known person in AJ to grace the school in more than....years with a 925 Asiad medal to show,she's ineligible for full time training for olympics as a really stressful 9-2-5 job awaits(read:theorems and targets,ammo and ammonia,and whatever that suits your fancy)

it's time for the Kallang Roar,tomorrow that is.I'd like a full house although I might be a bit concerned if my VIP pass still can work if the VIP seats aren't full house.I just don't wanna miss a thing,not when it's the last time(I think) that I'd be going to a national stadium and enjoy VIP treatment.one thing though,I don't know if I'm going for any support or not given I'm quite busy nowadays

alright it's getting boring nowadays,so I think i'll stop here..

Monday, January 22, 2007

Osaka and Otaru

Finally my family's going to Sapporo,where it's very cold and very romantic...but there's a catch...

this is what you dream about...a souped up B777 of your dreams



Unfortunately i only enjoy this if i was doing either of these
1)me and steady go to Paris for a romantic getaway
2)my (extended) family goes to HK disneyland
3)you and your chums go to Milan or Barcelona in style,WAGs shopping and guys booing those Interisti or Milanisti on 11/03...or maybe your chums want to watch a Champs League match anytime(don't sing YNWA to them)

Never mind...the normal one's still nice.here's how it looks



apparently I can't be bothered with seatguru so I'd just sneak out and smoke away at the window seat if i've got one for the 0115 flight...hahahaha can don't need to sleep liaoz.things to do on the plane:

1)1st 2h watch flag of our fathers.I missed that so I'll watch it on the plane.i just don't believe the gridiron gang won't be on for feb but apparently the cinemas are still showing the movie...wow
2)next 1h.nintendo...whoosh super mario!
3)next 2h.learn French on the plane...hahahaha,maybe order alcohol...although i think it's a no-no
4)last 1h.fatigued,so maybe listen to more music.they have BSB and Ricky Martin,while eating breakfast that's pretty much costs $9-$12 on the ground
5)sleep on the domestic flight.

oh yes 3 weeks left so I don't know if i miss my frens or not,so here's something to ponder about what to order when on the plane

Taken from some airliner review site:
Wine, beer, spirits and cocktails, are all free. All wine is poured for you from large bottles kept on the trolley. All beer is opened before you get it, and all cocktails are mixed in the galley and brought to you complete at your seat. Cabin crew on SQ are quite insistant on this rule, and will not serve closed cans.

But yes, I did say cocktails - even economy gets a small list to choose from. In business you'll get a separate wine and cocktail list, and you can have endless delights with the selection, and you'll find many many ex-pats on the flights regularly sampling them. The drink trolley however just has one red & white, plus champers, so any special orders (like, a selection) have to come from the galley.
Raffles drinks service in Business

In economy the drinks and cocktails list is in the menu you get at the start of the flight. The drinks trolley is always loaded up with just one bottle of white and red - however the menu will always list one red and two whites, but will list them as by locality, not type. This unusual ommission can be rectified by asking the crew, however if you do this, and ask for the "wine that isn't on the trolley" then you'll probably have a long wait for a glass of the stuff.

The airline spends about £15 per passenger for food and beverages in economy, £30 in business class and £40 in first class. This is at least 10% higher than industry averages, to make passengers feel happier - its worth asking the cabin crew which wine they recomend, as most are trained to spot a good one.

Drink trolleys freely circulate even the economy cabin during the first few hours of the flight, but if you aren't in the isle seats, getting the trolley to stop can be a different matter. However Singapore is one of the few airlines where the cabin crew don't mind if you press the crew call button.
Hardy's Chardonnay


Economy drinks on Singapore Airlines
There is normally a choice of two white wines, and one red. The white wines are commonly listed by country, not by type (eg: German white, or French white). It pays to ask the crew what the selection and the grape variety is, and insist that they open a bottle of what you want, not the generic stuff that is on the trolley.
French Red

White - Hardy's Colombard Chardonnay
Little can be said about this. Its pleasant, easily quaffable, and makes the 35,000 feet wizz by. 12.5%.

Red - French Chateaux Nurf
Dry, almost bitter, with little in the way of initial taste. The after-taste will make your eyes water. 10.5%.

Economy Cocktails
Gin Fizz
Really just a gin and tonic, but with added lemon juice, this is a good refreshing one to start the journey with.

Screwdriver
A bad choice - the crew make it very strong and you'll soon loose consciousness.
Bloody Mary Mix as it comes in the can


Bloody Mary
"Singapore Airline's Bloody Mary mix has been famous since the 70s. Its one all the regulars ask for."
Kirtley - A Singapore Veteran

The Bloody Mary mix comes in a small tin, and the vodka is added by the crew. I love this. It's one of my favourites on the plane.

Manhattan
Just a normal Manhattan, but in a plastic glass with a swizzle stick.

Singapore Sling
Gin, benedictine, cointreau, brandy, grenadine, lime and pineapple... it is just like the Business Class version, except it comes... in a bottle! This is now loaded as standed on the economy trolley.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Barest Minimum

Finally a Singapore-malaysia causeway derby is on the card for the ASEAN semis.but we qualified in one of the least fashionable ways possible even though we got a crazy advantage...as always the thick of the action is right after the 10 minutes has passed.I just settled into the VIP seat before they were cheering away because Noh Alam Shah scored from the spot.Ridiculously Singapore then slacked off,got pegged back twice,held firm even with mad offside decisions and the controversial 12th Indonesian that the kayu ref forgot.In the end few felt sorry for the Indos as they were kicked out after Vietnam did their stuff

But I think the VIP box really rocks,although it seemed very 90s

that's why I was thinking...are we complacent enough to end up being pegged back when we're having advantage?that's what Raddy have to answer before the Malaysians get their bragging rights,and trust me,going to Thailand or Vietnam away is not a joke

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

7-11

Singapore 11 Laos 0 and Noh Alam Shah 7.whammers.I was watching most of the second half and they whacked 7 goals...mann...this sounds very impossible.what's next is Indonesia who has a lot of stuff on their head and I'm considering whether to use my VIP box option or leave it till the final...although I hope I can use it in the end

(side dish)
kids these days(especially in Singapore) are very very fortunate these days.have we lost our bite?are we only buffoons who only know how to take whatever that is doles out with little sense of gratitude?that I don't know.the dragon babies at least knew what lay ahead with so many people demanding the best,so they sensibly bucked up,but the new generation's got anything and everything pandered for their demands.most of them have been spectators to one of the best shows ever seen,but to really step out and do it was a tall order for them.right the best thing they could do is actually complain.last time out students might not like their teachers but the best they can do is put a brave face and complain behind closed doors...or i mean blogs.but now they not only complain but openly expect the respective department to see to their needs as you would customer service officers. same was the case where a secondary school boy dropped out just because his VP used some strong language to criticise his somewhat unbecoming ways as a student and his mum even lept into his defence. oh my,...

right now I'm struck down with incessant sneezing that is really irritating.coupled with sniffles and bout after bout of ahchoos,it can ruin someone's day

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Rain Down

Bedroom farce wasn't exactly a great bore.not if seeing friends are concerned.It's quite ridden with a bit of technical problems here and there from the start,but nice work given the relatively little experience they had with the intricacies of pro theater.the story though was quite abstract at first and I thought there were 3 or 4 stories running parallel.as it turned out the old couple and the ones who quarreled were related,and the husbands are very much under manipulation by their wives,but it all turned out to be a story about love and stuff,all very abstract with a suspensive ending to top off...

omigosh after spending saturday slacking off,it's absolut delirious on sunday,topped off with a literally raining down of real rain...

Delirious-Rain Down

Looks like tonight, the sky is heavy
Feels like the winds are gonna change
Beneath my feet, the earth is ready
I know its time for heaven's rain
It's gonna rain

Cos it's living water we desire
To flood our hearts with holy fire

Rain down all around the world we're singing
Rain down can you here the earth is singing
Rain down my heart is dry but still I'm singing
Rain down rain it down on me.

Back to the start, my heart is heavy
Feels like it's time, to dream again
I see the clouds, and yes I'm ready
To dance upon this barren land
Hope in my hands

Chorus

Do not shut, Do not shut, Do not shut the heavens
But open up, open up, open up our hearts
Give me strength to cross this water
Keep my heart upon your altar
Give me strength to cross this water
Keep my feet don't let me falter

Chorus

OMG...it's quite crazy when delirious comes to church to rock everyone down...hahahaha FOP in August will see more of such crazy stuff...end off with this solid hit..

Delirious-Solid Rock

There's a rock that doesn't move,It hasn't moved, it will never move,Even though the waves come crashing down.There's a tower on a hill, its always strong,It will never shake,It was standing there before the world began.There's a wave that's coming in,Washing over this town, it will make or break us, reinvent us,It's time to lay me down.

On Christ the solid rock we will stand,All other ground is sinking sand.On Christ the solid rock we will stand,We'll climb on your back, take us to higher ground.

There's a song that doesn't fade,It never fades it was custom made,To raise the sons and daughters of this earth.There's a sound that's coming in,Rushing over this town, it will make or break us, reinvent us; it's time to lay me down.

chorus

My hope is built on nothing less,Than Jesus blood and righteousness.I dare not trust the sweetest frame,But wholly lean on Jesus name.When darkness seems to veil his face,I rest on his unchanging grace.In every high and stormy gale,My anchor holds within the veil.His oath his covenant and blood,Support me in the 'helming flood.When all around my soul gives way,He then is all my hope and stay.When the last trumpets voice shall sound,O then I may in him be found,Clothed in his righteousness alone,Faultless to stand before his throne.(rap with a loudhailer)

chorus

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

farce

everyone's working nowadays.everyday's like a bad day in the office,the share of ridiculous yellings,crazy deadlines,jackass jobs and all other jackshit.from the smallest kids in here who are nicely 100% employed in schools and introduced to the next rat race,to even some people trying their darndest best to

somehow everything stops in january.but not theatre...because i'm still looking for someone to watch a good theatre production with me...esp with a suggestive title like Bedroom Farce.but I wouldn't have watched any theatre if not for the fact that as a consumer i feel equally proud at doing my part to build a arty society to go with our economic growth. especially the arts...an underrated secret ingredient to a civilised society,and yeah so many people wanted to be in the rat race that they don't realise what's it's like to rate a rare theatre show.In fact the theatre scene seems to be slightly stagnant with a tried and tested cast of thespians of our dad's generation,and what our dads and mums(wait,not all.the cheenapiangs will say nope) only can understand.they are very good,no doubt,but not growing.with them growing old,we badly need a good bunchof new talent before it gets as stale as ...spare you the details.here's the details...

Bedroom Farce(not a farce,but a fest showcasing the next generation of thespians)
DBS Arts Centre
12,13,14 Jan(all weekend),1930h
$20,$25,$30(no excuse for saying they eat money.why keep the money for yourself when you can do yourself a great favour karma wise)

oh well my chicken soup's cooking nicely and now back to watching more French gameshows i sorely missed

Saturday, January 06, 2007

boredom

gameover.it's quite a scene where guys don't get to see their old friends for a long time when they start NS.and what about guys when they found out they're dumped because they can't meet up anymore with their girls...oh yeah and girls dumping their guys because they never grow up...haha

the worst thing about every passing generation of J1s is that they hardly seem to grow up especially after the dragon years.i had enough of muddled snakehead OGLs who don't even bloody know who the heck is in their OG after so many years...luckily the horses are better i thought they prefer drinking fermented horse milk instead of playing with their OGLs

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

New Year resolutions

regrettably the new year started on a funny note after I managed to give her the late xmas present 1 week on,at the turn of the year...and to top it all off she was very very tipsy and I ended up looking abit confused as I decided to cash in on my Scottish Leader blend and then disappear into the long and winding road post-countdown

that's why I just decided to post my new year's resolution,although they might be broken...oh well

1)greater concentration.I think I get distracted easily
2)spend less,either more or grand.I just managed to spend 100 plus on that heart keyring from swarovski that really said lots of stuff about her
3)resolve who i really love

Orientation CRapp

Hell by hook or by crook insiders got an info about the houses

replace a few letters in some cases

Cougaria(supposedly a corruption of Cougar)
Sloger(implies slogging)
Aztec(got meaning)
Concolor(try prounouncing councillor without teeth)
Bancis
Acoiria
Asgodi(the next three are as good as windass crap)

Pumera(Puma)
Pagonica(?)
Tigris(Mystic)
Aruacan(are you a tribal leader?)
Peros
Cabrera(sic)
Incuno(miswritten)

Cheetaria
ferox xerox
Juboti...(forget the last few)
Raine(add a letter more)
Veneti
Traka(crap again)
Gerard

Pantheria
Coryi
Tamoun(le Journal Afrique)
Persica
Atroxcious
Pardus
Aurada(sic another nonsense)

Jaguaria
Onca
Peru(one of the few logical ones)
Surna
Govice
Unda
Nebulo

Leonardo/Leopardo/Lothario
Tullia
Herpes(stab)
Kothya
Adverse(misspelt)
Zanzibar(misspelt)
Jarvis(Hey Mr Jarvis)

Once I looked forward to orientation,but hearing now what sorta crap they always do there,and the elemental names that are so ridiculous that they just realli have no meaning at all for whatever reason they are formulated to make a mockery of their own cleverness...hahaha

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Korky Buchek is Borat's Popular Music Superstar

Korky Buchek is featured on Borat.here's a listen to the supposed 'Popular Music Superstar'

(Korky Buchek's MP3 has been moved to another part of the blog to save space)

It's damn ridiculous la...even a baby can sing better than this idiot here.basically he was just making a few sounds and then strumming a stupid little object in the 'MV' of course lah.even the MTV is very primitive....mind you i can't even stop laughing after watching this....crazy lah.then there is the one with premier nazubazhev(sic) 'launching' MTV and then some silly video comes out.and as for the pimp my ride...wad the heck is this...punked!

Right now I backed up my original template in a nice little document ready to change into a new blogskin except for the fact that it's quite a difficult task and my com caused me a lot of problems by barring me from MSN even when you can go surf the web effectively...grrrrr

As for this video where he goes 'hunting the Jaw'(it's banned in the USA)...i have nothing much to say.but the spoiler is that he goes to Texas ranch and does some ridiculous stuff to bear hunters

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

JT TI ML

Ain't no other woman that could take your spot my...

If I wrote you a symphony
Just to say how much you mean to me
(What would you do?)

If I told you, you were beautiful
Would you date me on the regular?
(Tell me would you?)

Well baby I've been around the world
But I ain't seen myself another girl
(Like you)

This ring here represents my heart
But there's just one thing I need from you
(Saying I do)

Because, I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand
I can see us on the country side
Sitting in the grass laying side by side
You can be my baby
Let me make you my lady
Girl you amaze me
Ain't gotta do nothin crazy
See all I want you to do is be my love

(So don't give away...)
My love
(So don't give away...)
My love
(So don't give away...)

Ain't no other woman that could take your spot

My love
(So don't give away...)
My love
(So don't give away...)
My love
(So don't give away...)

Ain't no other woman that could take your spot

My loooooooove
Looooooove
My loooooooove
My loooooooove

Now if I wrote you a love note
And make you smile at every word I wrote
(What would you do?)

Would that make you wanna change your scene?
And wanna be the one on my team
(Tell me would you?)

See what's the point in waiting anymore
Cause girl I've never been more sure
(That baby it's you)

This ring here represents my heart
And everything that you been waiting for
(Just saying I do)

Because, I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand
I can see us on the country side
Sitting in the grass laying side by side
You can be my baby
Let me make you my lady
Girl you amaze me
Ain't gotta do nothin crazy
See all I want you to do is be my love

(So don't give away...)
My love
(So don't give away...)
My love
(So don't give away...)

Ain't no other woman that could take your spot

My love
(So don't give away...)
My love
(So don't give away...)
My love
(So don't give away...)

Ain't no other woman that could take your spot

My loooooooove
Looooooove
My loooooooove
My loooooooove

[T.I:]
Shorty, cool as a fan
On the new once again
But he still has fans from Peru to Japan
Eh Listen baby, I don't wanna ruin your plan (nah)
But if you got a man, try to lose him if you can
Cause the girls real wild throw they hands up high
When they wanna come and kick it wit a stand up guy
You don't really wanna let the chance go by
Cause you ain't been seen wit a man so fly
(Eh Baby) friend so fly I can go fly
Private, cause I handle my B. I.
They call me candle guy (why?) simply cause I am on fire (haha)
I hate to have to cancel my vacation so you can't deny
I'm patient, but I ain't gonna try (nah)
You don't come, I ain't gonna die
Hold up, what you mean, you can't go why (wha?)
Me and you boyfriend we ain't no tie (uh uh)
You say you wanna kick it when I ain't so high (man)
Baby, it's obvious that I ain't your guy
I ain't gon lie, I feel your space
And forget your face, I swear I will
Same park, same bullet anywhere I chill
Just bring wit me a pair, I will

I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand
I can see us on the country side
Sitting in the grass laying side by side
You can be my baby
Let me make you my lady
Girl you amaze me
Ain't gotta do nothin crazy
See all I want you to do is be my love

(Love)
My love
(Love)
My love
(Love)

Ain't no other woman that could take your spot

My love
(Love)
My love
(Love)
My love
(Love)

Ain't no other woman that could take your spot

My looooooove
Loooooove
My looooooove
My looooooove

*Justin Timberlake feat T.I-My Love*

How do you feel?

Sunday, December 24, 2006

MeRRy Chri$tm@z!--AND TO WiNNiE...ESPECIALLY 4U

lol it's that time of the year again.to everyone,merry christmas.of course church had a rocking service just now and at press time they have one more tomorrow...quite an impactful christmas I must say,with a very moving christmas drama.just that my bro's getting party all the time

well just had carl's junior with a double portobello.quite a good replacement for turkey but I'm looking forward to christmas cake soon...meanwhile I still can remember that christmas day 2 years ago that seemed very much like a few days ago...the feeling's can be quite complicated

Especially For You-by Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan.Anything in purple is the guy part.pink is the girl's and when both sings,it's a darker shade

Especially for you
I wanna let you know what I was going through
All the time we were apart
I thought of you
You were in my heart
My love never changed
I still feel the same

Especially for you
I wanna tell you I was feeling that way too
And if dreams were wings, you know
I would have flown to you
To be where you are
No matter how far
And now that I'm next to you


No more dreaming about tomorrow
Forget the loneliness and the sorrow
I've got to say
It's all because of you


[CHORUS:]
And now we're back together, together
I wanna show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you

Especially for you
I wanna tell you, you mean all the world to me
How I'm certain that our love was meant to be
You changed my life
You showed me the way
And now that I'm next to you


I've waited long enough to find you
I wanna put all the hurt behind you

Oh,
And I wanna bring out all the love inside you,
Oh


[CHORUS:]

You were in my heart
My love never changed


No more dreaming about tomorrow
Forget the loneliness and the sorrow
I've got to say
It's all because of you


[CHORUS:]
[repeat & fade]


I really don't know where to start.For once I don't really feel that there's christmas at all.Christmas somehow just felt different without her.Don't know,maybe it was the thought that a couple has 2 go through an inevitable,and uneviable,separation before they really can find true love. When 2 people's roads disect into something different,you might never know if you'll ever be with her again. sometimes it might be parallel,sometimes,not even an intersection. Couples getting separated for a time when the guys gets enlisted is really a heartwrenching moment for a couple.the girl having to contend with infrequent sightings of her beau and the guy having to separate for a time with her belle. you never know what might happen after the whole time.

I know she aren't my stead and that I doubt she ever will be,unless she ever said so,but I can't even stop and ponder what's life without you to even talk to,or even slap me in a bid to go back to reality.i know i shouldn't be asking my friend to slap me even when pissed,but I don't know if either of us will ever be pulled out of that fantasy world that runs parallel with that real world.I just hope that we'll still remain in contact and talk about anything once in a while...

To conclude,a crystal is brilliant,fragile,lovely and yet tough.for the girl whose cute looks might not suggest something made of sterner stuff,and yet fragile and easily pissed,the heart signifies your pure soul,a nice present 4 you...

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan

This damned movie is rated R21 by some f***in idiotic censors who bloody thought this is so bullshitty that they deemed that even kids should not watch it on HBO.Uzbek imposters!For those(like me) who now complain that those Uzbek imposters are restricting movie freedom with their imposters here's what you must know

-Borat Sagdiyev ("born" July 30 1972) Борат Сағдиев) is a fictional Kazakh journalist(so please bear with the crude humour unless you want to pose as Englrand Towkay or Uzbek Imposter)

'Biography'

Sacha Baron Cohen provides Borat's backstory as follows.(note that some parts are edited due to racial,cultural and other sensitivities and insensitivities)


Family
Borat was born on July 30, 1972 in Kuçzek, Kazakhstan. He is the son of Asimbala Sagdiyev and Boltok the Rapist, who is also his maternal grandfather. He is also the former husband of Oksana Sagdiyev, who was the daughter of Mariam Tuyakbay and Boltok the Rapist. His relationship with his mother seems to be unpleasant, and Borat has commented that and Borat has commented that "she wishes she was raped by another man." "She never hugged me," "she wished I was never born," "she doesn't love me" are some further comments Borat makes concerning his mother (though while being drunk).

Borat has a sister named Natalya, regarded as the fourth-best prostitute in Kazakhstan (and best BJ), with whom he often fornicates, thus making him incestful. He also has a younger brother named Bilo, who is mentally retarded and must be kept locked behind a metal door or in a cage. Bilo also has a pouch were he stores all the porno he looks at inside. In an interview, Borat said, "My brother Bilo has a small head but very strong arms. He have 204 teeth (193 in mouth 11 in nose)! You can do anything to him - he do not remember nothing! He is a sex crazy ... all day long he in his cage look on crap & rub rub rub!"[4]

He has been married several times, once to his half-sister's plough.He is raw His first wife was Oksana Sagdiyev, another half-sister. She was shot and killed by neighbour Nursultan Tuyakbay, who mistook her for a bear,She was "violated" (raped) and killed by a bear while accompanying her brother-in-law Bilo on a walk in the forest. Borat was largely unaffected by this event and even celebrated it, as he was able to buy a new wife who he claimed was not boring. He maintains extramarital relations with a girlfriend, a mistress, and at least one prostitute.

His wife died in 2002. He has a Gypsy boy named Vassilli who trims his moustache and wipes his anus.

He has three children: 12-year-old Bilak, 12 year-old Biram (whose mother is Borat's sister, Natalya), and 13 year-old Hooeylewis (his favorite child,or singer.it was Huey Lewis); and 17 grandchildren.

Borat brought Hooeylewis, his wife and his child to England in an attempt to sell the child to "transvestite singer Madonna".


Beliefs
Borat has a great admiration for Joseph Stalin, whom he describes as being both "strong" and "powerful". He believes politicians should be like him and have large "khram". (Russian: Храм, literally "temple," but intended to mean "balls"). In the campaign for James Broadwater, he told the constituents how James would crush his opponents and take power, whether people vote for him or not. This, in fact, would make him to be powerful like Stalin and the voters, who did not vote for him, would be sorry.

Sacha Baron Cohen is himself Jewish and says that he uses the Borat character to expose anti-Semitism and racism. By having Borat make anti-Semitic and racist statements, Baron Cohen claims to be able to show people's favourable reaction and thereby expose anti-Semitic/racist sentiment in society. For example, he was hunting and asked in an interview if it was legal to shoot Jews, to which his host replied that he would have no problem with that although others would. Sometimes people are repulsed by his anti-Semitism. At a dog pound he asked his host if he could test if a dog was trained. He had the interviewee place a finger on each side of her head (like a horn) and say Shalom, then he told the dog: "Attack! Attack the Jaw." The woman was very distressed, saying "No! Jaws are J's children. She [the dog] probably loves Jaws." Also, while taking a self-defense class, Borat asked the instructor to teach him how to defend against the "Jaw Claw" (in all fairness, the instructor made it very clear that one should respect the beliefs of others; he didn't believe the "claw" to be literal), and then he made a claw with his hand and had the instructor defend himself against it.

Borat is also known for his animosity toward oozebekistan. He has been known to talk about the fictional 'Tishniek' massacre, including during his 'Soul Motion' Dance class where he depicted the massacre and proceeded to explain how many OOzebeks were "crushed" on that day. He later told how he was "very proud" of the massacre and said it was not sad because "it is us who do the kill." In a recent press interview (which attracted more reporters than one given by the actual Kazakhstan president held at the same time) Borat threatened his country would "commence bombardment" of Uzbekistan cities with catapults if their anti-Kazakhstan propaganda did not cease. He also claimed that while he was studying "English, journalism, and plague research" to have "Made two new ones [plagues] that killed over five million goats in Uzbekistan."

He also asked the Oklahoma City Traffic Commission to stand in silence for ten minutes to commemorate the 14th anniversary of the massacre, but only got about a minute and a half. In the meeting, which was broadcast live on local TV, he thanked them for letting him join the meeting and then asked to give "short speech" which lasted 17 minutes. The speech covered traffic and American democracy. He made several comments that dumbfounded the commission, including how the only women allowed into government buildings in Kazakhstan are prostitutes.Audio of news coverage

He was shocked to discover that American women have the right to vote, while horses do not, whereas in Kazakhstan, the opposite holds true. On said discovery, he recited the "chain of importance" — "God, man, horse, dog, woman, then rat, then small krutzouli" — to a female voter. When looking for a home in the US, Borat stated that his wife was afraid of "men with chocolate face," referring to black people.

Some of Borat's interviews carry homoerotic undertones. Interviews can involve discussion of "khram" or the sex preferences of the interviewee or other celebrities, such as Freddie Mercury. Borat enjoys touching and holding men, but has a noticeable aversion toward women. Often he will kiss men on the cheek (and occasionally the lips) but when approached by a woman he will shy away or merely offer a handshake, an example of this being his report on Henley Royal Regatta where he kisses all the male members of a winning crew but not their female coxswain. This, however, may also reflect a cultural practice common to many Islamic countries, where men embrace each other and even kiss one another on the cheek, but women are politely ignored.


Pets
Borat used to have a pet pig, Igor, whom he claims to have loved, although he and his family eventually did eat it, including the eyes. He apparently also had a horse at some point.

He also has a cow in his home.
In the movie, he acquires a bear for self-protection because the gun shop owner would not sell him a gold plated Desert Eagle. Azamat tells him the bear runs away, but when Azamat opens a motel fridge a decapitated bear head is clearly seen.

Education
Borat attended the Astana University, where he studied English, journalism, and plague research (and created 3 new plagues that were launched on OOzebekistan).


Career and skills
Borat is a reporter. He has had many jobs ranging from ice maker to animal sperm retriever (he claims that rumours of a connection between these jobs are unfounded). He also claims to have previously worked as a Gipsy catcher, boasting that he can "hit a gipsy with a rock from 15 meters away if chained — 10 if not."

He also claims that he can carry a woman against her will and has done so, once carrying his future wife for 1,600 meters (one mile)(he got muscle meh?).

Borat claims to have the tightest asshole of his village, tight enough to open a bottle of Pepsi.(wtf)

On Friday Night with Jonathan Ross, Borat claims his khram is "thick like a can of Pepsi".


Hobbies
Borat's hobbies are making "sexy-time"(see below), table tennis, disco dancing, sunbathing (while wearing a green "slingshot" thong...you've been warned), shooting dogs, spitting, sitting on comfortable chairs, taking pictures of women while they "make-a toilet," jumping on the trampoline, and drinking traditional wine made from "fermented horse urine...(you've been warned too.watch the wine tasting video for details)"


Prejudices
In addition to being a sexist and a homophobe, Borat is prejudiced against Jaws, Oozebeks, and Gipsys. Borat has said that he once suffered a "very bad Gipsy attack," in which his wife Oksana Sagdiyev's plough was stolen, and "they touch my horse in very bad way; it get depressed for very long time." He does not appear to have a prejudice against black people, though claimed that one of his wives did, and he calls black people "chocolate faces". He later married a black prostitute.


Medical history
Borat has had many diseases including gonorrhoea, syphilis, and herpes which he caught from his sister.(wtf...I think there's a video in youtube about telling the doc that)


Religion
In the film, Borat discloses that as a Kazakh he "follows the hawk." This may be a reference to the present flag of Kazakhstan which depicts a golden steppe eagle flying under a golden sun on a blue background. Ghengis Khan flew a blue flag with an eagle when he ruled Kazakhstan. Alternatively, this may be the reference to al-Haqq - "the truth" in Arabic. In Hebrew, Hoq (חוק) is a Divinely-ordained Law that is above reason. However, during the course of the film he visits a Pentecostal service, and at the end of the film, while back in his village declares that he and, ostensibly, the rest of his village are now Christians.(oh holy sh*t)

Borat Vocab(some are funny.others are down-and-out-right crude.some bullshit may (not) be suitable for anybody and everybody,especially Uzbek imposters.Viewer/reader discretion is,and is not,advised)

Greetings
Dzienkuje - "thank you." Sometimes used as a greeting in the opening of the Borat segments of Da Ali G Show (from the Polish "Dziękuję"). Also spelled as "Chenquieh" when written by Borat, e.g., his speech on the Kazakhstani embassy.
Jagshemash - "how are you?" (from the Polish "Jak się masz?", the Czech "Jak se máš?"). Returning to Central Asia, the Uyghur greeting "yahşimusiz" means "are you well?", and in Uzbek it's "yaxshimisiz." Perhaps ironically, especially in light of Borat's views on Uzbeks, "yaxshi emas" means "not good/well" in Uzbek.
Dzien Dobre! - sometimes used in place of above greeting, is Polish for "Good Day!." It is also the greeting of Baron Cohen's Borat prototype character Kristo, as well as the greeting used by Borat as he opens the segment in his movie where he is about to meet Pamela.

Interjections
Tishe - from Russian "тише" equivalent of "be quiet" or "stop it", depending on the tone on which it is used. Directed at animals.
Wa wa wee wa - an Israeli exclamation equivalent to "wow", though commonly associated with vulgarity; it was invented by a popular Israeli comedian, Dov Glickman on a variety TV show "Zehu Ze," and is in popular use in Israel; basically, an expression of surprise equivalent to "wow".Glickman has since threatened to sue Baron-Cohen for his appropriation of the phrase

Sexual terminology(some parts have to be censored as they are quite crude.please imply from the initials)
Khram - (MPP). (from the Russian slang word "хрен" ["khrien"], of the same meaning). Used to refer to balls, as well as d**k. Notice that "khrum" in Russian means temple, church, and is seen as something sacred. In a promotional segment for his movie on Comedy Central, Borat uses the term Bishkek (possibly a variant of "beefcake",but with that also the name of Krygyzstan's capital,I can't rule out another dissing) to describe the same thing, referring to his "family photos" of his son Hooeylouis.
Vazhïn (rhymes with machine) - (WPP) (also once referred to as Shakira.again another Ali G invention).
Hand Party or Hand Relief/Dirty - PCC.
Mouth Party - BJ.
Sexy Time - sex.
Liquid/Romance/Sexy Time Explosion,Happy Ending - (meaning implied).
Babraboosh - cunnilingus/Composite of pubis and MP(to be censored,but for the fact it is a technical word.Also to note that it sounds very similar to President Bush's daughter's name,so Borat might have had some stupid hidden meaning inside this word as an indirect satire).

Fictional Kazakhstani culture
"Popular music superstar" Korky Buchek - fictional "popular music superstar" known for the song "Bing Bang". This is our favourite

Krutzouli - fictional small or insignificant animal of ambiguous identity, placed not too far below women in the fictional Kazakhstani caste system, enumerated as "God, man, horse, dog, woman, rat, and then a little krutzouli" ("Guide to Politics"). In Poland, "Krasula" ("Pretty Cow") is also a common name given to cows.
Running of the Jew - fictional annual traditional festival in which the 300 bravest men of Kazakhstan chase large papier-mâché caricatures of Jews on the streets, and chase them into wells, while spectators break the eggs they lay, and throw stones and potatoes at the Jewish caricatures. "It is for the childrens," said Borat in his interview on "Friday Night with Jonathan Ross." It's a parody of two Spanish festivals: The "Running of the Bulls" and the "Gigantes y cabezudos".
Shurik, Festival/Feast of - fictional annual one-day festival when it is appropriate to have sexual intercourse with one's sister, animals, and minors; takes place the day following the "Running of the Jew." It is also mandatory to have intercourse with another of the same sex.
Shurik, Sport of - fictional sport similar to 'baseballs,' in which they take a dog and shoot it in a field, and then have a party; played during Festival of Shurik.
Potassium - main Kazakh export
Eleven years old - the figure the Kazakh age of consent has been recently raised to
Purple shirts - what Kazakh's comitted for sex crimes wear
Blue hats - what gay Kazakh's had to wear until recently
Fifteen gallons of insecticide - the going rate for purchasing a Kazakh bride
You find me woman with brain, I find you horse with wings - a 'famous' Kazakh saying
Tenge-Kazakh money.this was the correct one

Borat Grammer

not so much
I very excite!
I like you. Do you like me?
is-a very nice
sexy time
High-five!
retard
You're-a fat.
She have anoos of seven-year-old.
She is loose like mouth of tired dog.
the U S and A
I like very much
ladies with nice physiques
I would very much like to make romance inside of her.
fermented horse urine - a fictional Kazakh wine
gypsy tears - a fictional medicinal cure for diseases as well as impotence
big-nose people - Jews
chocolate faces - Black Americans
vanilla faces - White Americans
make a toilet - use a toilet
cage - a place to store one's wife
Great success!
Very nice!
bang bang in other man's anoos
I like cadillac of niet Nordin
Wa wa wee wa! - exclamation of excitement
Bruno Vocabs

Vassup: "What's up"; a celebrity is in
Ich don't think so: A celebrity is out
Also jetzt bin ich hier mit ... : So now I'm here with ...
Entschuldigung: Excuse me
Schitzenpoof: bordell (a brothel; Bruno uses this in the context of an a**hole/a** however); 'Puff' (pronounced similar to the English 'poof' with a short sound 'u:') means also 'bordell'.
Stinker: a**hole
Schwanzenstücker: khram
Spritzen or Spunken: (meaning implied)
Aufstehen: "to stand up," see your khram
Walk on the Brown Side: A homosexual or homoerotic experience
Ach ja: Literally "Oh yes", but in German equivalent to a sigh. Indicating something is acceptable.
Nicht Nicht: A 'no, no'; not acceptable
Aus: A celebrity is out
Poopenschaft: A play on English slang, 'poop-chute'; asshole; also a play on German: 'Poppen' which means colloquially 'to have sex' and 'Schaft' which is a word for a part of the khram.
Arsch: Arse (Ass)
Schantineux dirty animal

Disclaimer: No antisemitism,Uzbek dissing,crap and dash are intended here.please sod off downstairs if you deem this offensive

In fact if you want to know more please read yourself at the following website: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borat
http://www.borat.tv
http://www.boratmovie.com