Borriquito and Best Denki fever.Pukka

jokes galore:compiled from 2 days of crapping

Dengue fever has a new mutant.it's the best denki fever.symptoms?craving for the electronic chain Best Denki(not a bad temptation after all.they've got good range of electronics)
Avian flu's symptoms include high fever,Bird flu's symptoms include being as ill as an infected bird.but Cock Flu's sypmtoms is the tendency to talk cock.(talkingcock.com is the mecca of all the talking of cock and the preservation of our Singlish heritage)

and of course,the Borriquito joke.this is the official version(rating pending for gore,coarse language and crap)

WARNING:SPOILER DETAILS FOLLOW

Borriquito:the mass dance of AJC.involves chicken actions,chionging around,acting hungry and shaking your bon bon(a la ricky martin) as you dance in a circle with your mateys.the music is damn corny actually
Mosquito:rhymes with the above.Aedes and Anopheles are the bastards responsible for a whole range of diseases

assuming you get bitten by a mosquito,and no matter how much the doctors try to save you,you die of dengue fever or malaria or whatever mosquito transmitted disease...the story didn't quite end here

you end up in Hell.you see a slack Admin personnel from CMPB(Central Mortuary Posting Bureau) who kinda looks as if he want to chao keng.you think...damn jia lat.and he is.he tells you to go to the Mosquito or Borriquito room...all in a monotone that sounds like shit

you end up in the room.another arsehole similar to the one you've just met now reads out whatever deeds you've done in your mortal life,whether you've sinned or not.it's remarkable they actually record your deeds.before you could deny anything,a judge passes a verdict

you're a sinner.so they damn sadist make you go to the mosquito room.wah piang eh,so many mosquitos.then they even more savage,make millions of mosquitos sting you at one go.you feel itchy,then you start scratching.

but not only you try to swat all the mosquitoes in vain,because they attack your whole body,when you try to scratch you end up tearing your meat out.

the most disgusting part is you get ill,then you get fever.it's hot as hell,so your brain chao tar liao(carbon).but then hor the hell guards more hong *** one.they cut your head a la hannibal,take out your brain,repair it(the above formula is a trade secret),and they put back and start the same old routine all over again

but if you're a good person,you end up in heaven.you see people dance Borriquito there.angels and virtuous people alike.they pause the music and see you're a noob.they invite you in and somehow you agreed.you slot in to the circle and they shout MUSIC PLEASE!the music starts all over again,and they dance damn fast one la

what happens is that Satan couldn't go to heaven to raid because he's allergic to halos.so he can only look for satan worshippers on earth.but then the mosquitoes in heaven are also afraid of noise,so they have to migrate down to earth.Satan gets bitten and he's forced to go back to hell,supplying more mosquitoes in the process...and the eternal loop goes on and on

Apologies for the long winded story